There is a crystal called citrine which symbolizes clarity, abundance, and fluidity of movement. I keep a few around to encourage prosperity. Occasionally I give a citrine from my little collection to a friend along with a blessing wish. I continue to be amazed at the wisdom message of the stone which is, as you give, so you shall receive, and it is my goal to weave my days with citrine.
I have been battling depression all summer. I think when you begin to feel needy and lacking, you begin a whirl of energy that can only draw inward, sucking the life out of yourself & everything around you, infinitely. When you reverse the flow of energy and begin to give, energy flows out blessing your own life and others.
I am not quite sure how I managed to get my energy flow to reverse but it certainly feels as if it is reversed. At some point I was just sick of being whiney and decided to stop. Soon came an opportunity to give, I took it, and now I feel alive again!
One of my favorite paintings I did this summer was The Road Leads Home to You Revised, above left. As this summer's paintings have been hanging around my studio throughout this fall, I began seeing how I could make them better. So of course I took the greatest risk and began reworking that one, which you now see on the above right.
As I repainted, I struggled with the old inward energy stuff of "What do I think I am doing, what makes me think I have anything worthwhile to paint about, what a fake, what a goof, I'm just going to get a day job and quit this silly painting stuff."
But I was having lunch with a dear friend this week at her new home and she took me around to see where she had hung a painting I had given her years ago. There in the painting I saw my intent clearly, there it was, the reason I paint, the same things I still search for today in my paintings, and also in that painting I saw that I have traveled full circle back to some things I doubted. She had no idea the gift she was giving me. I had forgotten all about that painting and even if it had been hanging in my studio I probably would not have noticed the message it had for me!
Here is an iPhone shot of the painting:
Last night I got further encouragement when Paul Hoffman commented on Facebook, "think you made the right move - its now a stripped down tougher version of the same painting - the structure potentially more inherent than imposed," to which I replied that I was indeed trying to make less of a shout. I felt it to be true myself, but somehow a word from a well-respected artist really helps. Everyone loves an amen, eh?
So once again I have learned to cooperate with the citrine energy I want in my life and it seems to be flowing abundantly.
On to the REC where I get to work with some wonderful young people making art all over The REC walls!!!